08 June 2016

#moveon #heartless #solo

i hate to write my blog again
just again because of you
the previous guy

your name,,,i dont want to mention anymore here
im moving on with my life

yes!
i did gave my sentence and my promise
to tell you and ask you for the last time
on the 2nd June 2016
if you answer me then i'll stay, if you wanted me to stay
and i'll go if you say no

i didn't text you anyway
cause you know why?

you don't have the guts to tell me
to myself
and simple ask me to move on
do you need to tell my bestfriend
that i need to move on?


did you ever think and thought
how hard that I need to accept those news????
have you even think about my feelings?
have you ever thought to say anything???
yes I am a total stranger to you
but you have met me twice for GOD sake!!!
im no strangers lah deyy!


im hurt
too much hurt
crying tears and
never eat for three days straight!
do you ever wonder how much I hate to feel all these things???


I fell down
down to the lowest ground on earth
deepest sorrow in my entire life
all because of you!
I hate you now.. really hate you


yes
that's what you have done a few weeks ago
before i went to Bali
and yeah

the Bali thing..
i went there is because of you
still remember the last time we met?
you telling me
its soo good to travel solo
good to build our strength
and you have done that for several years
around 8 to 9 years, am i right?

yup!
i took the challenge and yeah!
i've made it by myself!
thanks to you

but then again
i realized
by the time comes,
the nearer date for me to go to Bali
the harder part of me say, NO, don't go!
cause its really remind me of you
fucking sure i went there because of you!

then now
what you have done????!!!

you start to putting some 'Likes' on my pictures
my IG
my personal attachments of social network?

i hate it!
you asked me to move on through my friend
yes
i am now
im still trying to forget you!
i must!
you already have Her, izyanbella .. :)
how much i wish i was Her
i wish to be loved by a person like you
oh Ya Allah
my heart never stops to love you bastard!

please
i ask and pray that
you should not end up irritating my life
by liking my pictures on IG
what is the main reason lah dey???
come on!
im moving on cause you asked me to!

move on
easy to type
hard to swallow
i am as heartless as you are

i just wanna save my money
go for tavel
have some fun for myself
im still young and thousand s of journey i wanna face by myself
please
don't ruined it

im better actually
but after you came back
not in a million years, you never like my pictures
now you did it
WHY???

you didn't put an effort to call of text me too right???
what's the pointlah!???
i didn't block anybody
especially you
i wont
im not a kid anymore
you always be the one that i love and hate at the same time
now im writing these
and i hate you more

just go, please go
and never come back
solo - i prefer to be alone by now
#solomio

yes i am mumbling when im typing these sentences
its hard to express
harder to forget you

you are just my another history
just go

xoxoxo

26 May 2016

RENUNGAN TERAKHIR

Assalamualaikum WBT


berhabuk kepuk dah blog aku
when was the last time I wrote about my love life?
I cant even remember any of them


it was a long journey I faced with my own eyes and feet
susahnya untuk menerima sebuah kenyataan
yg semestinya memerlukan kekuatan luaran dan dalaman
dan pastinya aku perlukan selama aku keseorangan


aduh
susah aku mahu melakar secebis nukilan untuk isi hati aku sekarang
susah benar aku mahu melepaskan segalanya di latar kosong blog usangku
segalanya perit tersepit menyisit
luka parahku bertandang tanpa henti
selama lima purnama ku berseloroh dengan jiwaku
dan selama lima purnama itulah aku mengasah belati
setajam-tajam mungkin
dan aku sedar, malah aku memang sedar diri
bahawa
belati itu jugalah yg selalu kugenggam atas tangan kananku
tidak endah segala tomahan
sering saat aku tancapkan ke jantungku sendiri


pedih sakit luluh
merintih suara hati yang jarang didengari


aku berseloroh
renungan itu kadangkala menjadi nafas terakhir untuk
aku dan dirinya


xoxoxo







07 April 2016

Nice from far,far from nice

basically,
just be honest guys,
when you see a person,
which could be your friends in a few seconds later,
most of them will be likely either good looking or pretty faces?
correct?
am I right or am I right? :)


well,
people always judge the book from its cover,
always look at the outside first,always..
before checking and double checking the inside,
inside means heart yeah,,not the body(creepy!) haha..!


its a BS if u just say,
"ohh..no. im not just look from the outside,,the heart is more important..blablabla..."
whateva~


well,
im 40% like that :) honestly speaking and writing..haha


I do see the looks first,
and I do see the smile and not smiling one,
I do react when people say "Hi"
I do talk when u do the talking part first,
overall,
Be nice to me, i'll be nicer to you :)
.
.
.
.
ok,
the quotes,


"Nice from far,far from nice" - Any person (especially a woman) who, from a distance, looks like they are worthy of a portion but upon closer inspection is revealed to be a right swamp-hog


im here working at Casaman DPC Kepong, KL
the house was sold about minimum 2millions ringgit... huh!
Bloody expensive man!
maximum can goes up to 3.5millions ringgit.


overall,
the designs, architectural designs is aca-awesome,
for me lah,
but of course the owners,
always says/complaints,
"the designs is stupid", "designs sucks", blarghh blargh blarghh...


yeah,
I get it.


rich people, living on a silver platter,
the owned this residential private thingy at DPC,
at the end of the day,
although the visitors, my friends, my colleagues says,
"the house, the residential, uniformity, is soo pretty and beautiful and yeah,
looking soo privacy and expensive! and I love it!!!",
but,
the inside problems?
im the one who knew...
the leaking,
falling ceiling..urgh!
water tanks?..i hate this one,,,
cracks on the wall!?(this shouldn't happen ok!)
pipe bursting everywhere!!!
wallahhhweyhhh......too many ouh!


just imagine lah, for example...
I would say the feeling is,
the same feeling as,
u need a car,
urgently(like me before! haha)
and u just go and buy the second hand car,
u bought it for RM58k,
when u buy a second hand car,
after three months your engine all the sudden,
overhauled and need to go to the workshop
fixing here and there
need extra cash to pay,
maybe around RM8-10k maximum?
crazy weyh???! hehuuuu..
although u just bought it for a few months... :(
what will comes next?


depression,
disappointment,
angry,
sad,
cannot accept the fate!
arghhh...
everything!....
hahahaha.. lol!


why im saying all these examples?
guess again :)
the house is meant to be like that
for me,
they cannot blame the developer,
u r the one who have millions and decided to buy this kind of houses.


poor you all; rich people.. :(


face it, take it or leave it :)


I repeat again.


"Nice from far, far from nice",
Meant for Casaman Hillhomes DPC :)


xoxoxo





04 April 2016

Boyfriend/ Husband/ Partner/ Lover - You are my everything

"it feels just like a dream, which once in the while, it came true"


babes,
believe me, miracles does happen
it can be happen to anybody, anyone, whoever,
poor, rich, fat, skinny, pretty, lazy, hardworking, old, young, negative, positive, fair, dark, dying, healthy, strong, weak,
each of them will magically face the miracles,
receive all the unexpected things from Allah.


I have not much to talk about here,
speak of the heart myself,
I felt peaceful and relief right after I got my car,
what? u wanna talk about love?


let me start and finish it quickly...


now,
his name is Meve
I need to learn to love him
nurture him with warmth and comfort as long as I live
he is my everything for now
no more others
love is undeniable
I need it though


im now being soo heartless and less expectation from people
any person that I loved


I love you Meve


Forever and now


xoxoxo







23 March 2016

SUDAH KU TAHU - berhantu dalam benakku

Seringkali aku menduga,
Seringkali ini terjadi,
Segala rahsia sudah ku tahu,
Rupanya aku tak dicintai

Untuk apa kau buat ku begini,
Segala apa yang telah ku lakukan,
Airmataku mengalir dipipi,
Segala yang kukorbankan tuk dirimu

Mengapa masih lagiku,
Berdiriku menunggu cintamu,
Mengapa masih adamu,
Menyakiti disiang malamku,
Aku terima cintaku dipersiakan,
Annnn
Aaaaaahhh !

Sayang!
Aku kau lupa,
Aku kau luka,
Tanpa kau sedar

Sayang!
Selamat tinggal,
Aku kan pergi,
Buat selamanya

Aku pasti kau bahagia tanpaku,
Selamanya

Mengapa masih lagiku,
Berdiriku menunggu cintamu,
Mengapa masih adamu,
Menyakiti disiang malamku,
Aku terima cintaku dipersiakan,
Annnn
Aaaaaahhh !

Sayang!
Aku kau lupa,
Aku kau luka,
Tanpa kau sedar

Sayang!
Selamat tinggal,
Aku kan pergi,
Buat selamanya

Aku pasti kau bahagia tanpaku,
Selamanya

Sayang!
Kau lupa!
Aku luka!
Aaaaahhh!

Sayang!
Aaaahhh~~
Aahahhh!

Aku doa kau bahagia tanpaku,
Selamanya

xoxoxo


08 March 2016

Love - Bites

tgok title pun mcm smcm kan?
haha


YES, love does bite
but in a different ways
different situation
different person
and of course
different gender :)


oh my,,
sejujurnya
aku mmg xtahu nak tulis apa
hati ni dah keras kot
jadi kosong
jadi tenang
bila tenang jadi senang
semuanya bermula drpd doa
lama dh aku tak berdoa....


fuhhhhh....


...........
...........
...........


soalan yg mmg aku xkan pernah dapat jawapan


"kenapa Allah temukan aku dengan dia lagi untuk kedua kalinya?
Jika dia bukan diciptakan untuk aku? aku bukan ada masa lagi nak main2 cinta.
Kenapa aku dipertemukan lagi dgn dirinya untuk kali kedua itu hari?"


aku tak salahkan Tuhan
aku hanya terfikir
sakit benar perasaan ini
pedih luluh hati yang mencintai tetapi tidak diberi cinta kembali


jujur aku katakan
masih lagi menitis airmata ini bila teringat akan dirinya
jujur aku katakan
aku ini bukanlah seorang yang kuat dan tabah
jujur aku katakan
perasaan ini semakin bercambah
jujur aku katakan
maruah diri ini tercabar dengan hati yg walang
jujur aku katakan
dalaman aku semakin lemah
jujur aku katakan
semuanya umpama mimpi dalam mimpi
jujur aku katakan
tolonglah kejutkan aku daripada mimpi buruk ini
jujur aku katakan
dirinya masih lagi aku .......


tebas habis punah smua harapan
aku penat berharap
berangan dengan satu nafas jantan
kelangit menatap sebuah impian usang
ke darat aku tetap lantang bertenang


siapa yg kenali diri ini
sememangnya tahu aku
menunjuk tabahku diluar diri
dalaman aku,,, takkan ada yang pernah mengerti


aku capek dengan keadaan
aku murung menerima kenyataan


memang
love can bite and munch u inside out


love bites


xoxoxo

02 March 2016

terkesima!

hati ohh hati..
tiba-tiba jadi hmmmm...


ada pulak yang rajin usha fb dia
usha gambar dia depan aku tadi
mata ni tak nak tengok
tapi hati ...... gedik
Nampak gambar dia
aku jadi .... goyang


gtg


xoxoxo